A Parenting Dilemma

Posted on June 21, 2006 by Jenn

I find myself in a position where I am wishing we were already up and running with a regular readership. I have a solicitous question. I suppose Reon might have some wonderful insights, so I’ll continue even though there may be no other person on the earth who reads this. ;)

Here’s the deal: Brian finds himself away on a business trip. This does not happen very often at all, for which I am extremely grateful. Unfortunately, this lack of business travel has an unexpected side-effect. When Daddy is gone, his girls miss him at night. A lot. DD2 cried for almost 45 minutes last night. I tried everything in my bag of tricks.

Solution 1: Prayer.
Result? Uncontrollable sobs emitting from both bunkbeds by the end of the prayer.

Solution 2: Give them more information. (This sometimes really helps dd1. What is in her head is often a little confusing and more information can sometimes scare the monsters out of her imagination.)
Result? Unending questions and more tears. (Example: Why can’t Daddy drive back and forth? Why does he have to work? Doesn’t Daddy want to be home with us? Does he know we miss him? Is it night where Daddy is? etc…)

Solution 3: Give them each a picture of Daddy to hold.
Result? Oh my, the wailing that occurred…

Solution 4: Threaten to beat them both to a pulp.
Result? Again, the weeping and gnashing of teeth.

Solution 5: (After apologizing for losing it) Offer to let them sleep in one of Daddy’s t-shirts.
Result? Two little girls exhausted from crying for 30+ minutes have no interest in changing their clothing.

Solution 6: Use the monotony of crying emanating throughout the house as a sweet lullaby of sobs for DS. (Yes, through this entire thing so far I was also juggling a very tired 18mo!)
Result? DD1 fell asleep listening to DD2 cry and whimper while I rocked DS to sleep. After putting DS in his crib, I then rocked DD2 to sleep while singing her special lullaby to her over and over and over and over…

So there it is. My dilemma? We have to do this again for three more nights! Does anyone have any other ideas??? I could sure use a few. Although, I feel like this has been a bit cathartic. Maybe I’ll just plan to blog more about it tomorrow…

10 Comments »

Comment by Jenn

June 21, 2006 @ 11:35 am

Part two of the dilemma - how do I keep Brian from feeling guilty after reading this? ;)

Comment by Reon

June 21, 2006 @ 12:07 pm

My expert opinion:
NyQuil 30 minutes before bedtime. Works like a charm! :O)

My other quick thought (I’m at work, so I may have to get back with you) would be to talk to them this afternoon or during dinner time (sometime when they are still in their right minds) and talk to them about the questions they brought up last night; maybe get online and show them where he is on a map.

Then ask them what they think might ease their minds and help them sleep tonight. If you catch them in a moment of sanity before tiredness kicks in, they may come up with some good ideas on their own. A “While Daddy’s Away” routine would be good to put into practice, and let them help come up with the routine.

Bribery is always a good trick to have up your sleeve, as well! Maybe a special gift from Daddy when he returns if they can be “brave” for him and Mommy. Oh, I can hear the shudders of disapproval at the mention of the word bribery, but let’s face it: desperate times call for desperate measures!

The prayer idea was a good one, too…I’d work on that one all day today! I’ll be lifting you all up, as well.

Best of luck, and I’ll let you know if I think of anything else.

Comment by Jenn

June 21, 2006 @ 3:15 pm

Thanks, W!

You should know that bribery is not beneath me, although it’s rarely my first option. (Paychecks work well for most of society, don’t they?) ;) A while Daddy’s away routine might do the trick. We’ve been talking and praying together about this off and on all day (and did yesterday too, actually). Thanks for the prayers - I’ll keep ya posted. (Maybe literally!)

Comment by Brian

June 21, 2006 @ 5:36 pm

Wait! The President is “W”. You called Reon “W”. Therefore, Reon must be…. I knew there was something she’d been hiding!

Comment by Reon

June 21, 2006 @ 7:26 pm

“…Her intellect, her wit, her charm, her ability to speak for hours on the rising prices of foreign crude oil and the effects it was having on her family inheritance…it was all making sense to him now. Her frequent trips to DC had nothing to do with training as a docent at the Smithsonian Institute at all. Could it be? Yes, it was true!

“She…Was…DUBYA!!!!!”

Comment by jlove

June 21, 2006 @ 8:29 pm

So does this mean we are all 4 in different towns? Interesting….and yet, the web keeps us all close. :) Ahh….

On a serious note, I hope for your sake Jenn, that tonight goes/went better. Sorry I don’t have any ideas for you.

Comment by gid

June 22, 2006 @ 6:49 am

I heard someone on Christian radio talking about how to handle these kinds of situations. Their suggestion was to have the daddy talk to all the kids before he leaves. He needs to reassure them that he really does not want to go on the trip, and that he is not leaving for any other reason except work. Then he needs to show them the pictures that he is bringing to put by his bed. I think they said something about the importance of nightly phone calls. Thought, to be quite honest I was not listening in great detail, so I am not sure.

Comment by Jenn

June 22, 2006 @ 10:47 am

Sorry I don’t have the time to do a full post on the follow-up this morning. The girls have swim lessons (the last one - I hope DD2 is brave enough to put her head under!) and I have to run by the local university to drop of something for Brian. And the girls are hoping to spend a few minutes browsing at Books-a-Million.

The short story: Last night went MUCH better! They even chose to sleep in their own beds when I offered them the chance to at least fall asleep in ours. I called Brian on the cell and he helped with the regular bedtime ritual via the speakerphone. It was fun to hear him singing with us a second behind! :)

Thanks for all the prayers. Keep them coming - only two more nights! (He’s actually coming home tomorrow night, but the kids will be in bed when he gets here.)

Comment by Jenn

June 22, 2006 @ 4:28 pm

gid!
We humbly thank you for the honor of our first real comment! If we were a restaurant, we’d have your contribution framed for display purposes, but alas we are only a lowly start-up group blog. :D

Thank you for your suggestions. Surprisingly, I think we actually did most of those things - Brian even took a picture of the kids with him. Maybe by the time I’m done with this, Dobson will have me on his show as an expert in these type situations. ;)

Comment by Clare

June 29, 2006 @ 12:43 pm

Yup, you’re a horrid mother. Smack yourself with a wet noodle.

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